“Something had to make us”, I’d exclaim. I believed in angels and spirits. I believed there were people who had the ability to channel a dead person to relay a message to a loved one. I believed in all of this without any need for proof or evidence. Yet I didn’t believe in Bigfoot. Or Santa Claus. Or fairies. And I didn’t need any evidence to deny their existence.

So why did I believe in God?

One day, I realised that I didn’t. This wasn’t a belief. This was a hope. A hope that my life wouldn’t be wasted. That once I’d died, that wouldn’t be the end. I would go to somewhere unimaginably beautiful rather than falling out of existence. That wasn’t belief. The same way I didn’t believe in the teachings of the Bible or any other religious artifact. To me, that book was just a way of controlling people in the past. So if I didn’t believe in what was said in the Bible, why would I believe in God or Heaven? You can’t pick and choose. You either follow a religion and it’s teachings or you don’t. You cannot decide which parts benefit you the most and accept only those.

All this lead to me becoming an Atheist. Well, truth be told, I began by calling myself an Agnostic. “You can’t prove there’s no God either”, I’d think. So I just sat on the fence. Until, one day, I really thought very hard about what it was that I believed. Not hoped for. Believed.

“Did an invisible, almighty being create me and my surroundings? Hmmm…I don’t think so.”

I began to study religious teachings and religious debates, trying my best to understand both sides of the arguments. But I couldn’t. I found it almost impossible to understand why people believed in something that they had no proof or evidence for and why they’d attack Atheists who believed in the scientific explanations.

Again, I think the reason = Hope. That and the fact that they’ve been taught from a young age that this is the truth.

Hence why this idiot, Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly, argues with Richard Dawkins, stating that Atheists “have no moral foundation.” Well, Mr O’Reilly, I can assure you that even though I was not taught any Bible teachings as I child, I was brought up with a certain moral foundation – you do something good, you feel good. You do something bad, you feel bad. I learnt what was right and wrong and I, nor can anybody else I know, be likened to Hitler or Stalin.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I know that not all religious followers are idiots. I have a few friends who are Christians, Jewish, Islamic, Sikh and Mormon. And neither do I have any intention of telling any of them that they are wrong, as I have as much evidence of God’s non-existence as they do of his existence. It’s just my belief.

Not hope. But my belief. My hope is that when I die, I do go to a heavenly place where I’ll see my passed loved ones. But I don’t believe I will.

I also believe that there is life on other planets. I don’t say that this is the truth, but it seems very plausible to me.

So until the day that my heart stops beating, I will continue to follow my morals and enjoy my life.

And if there is a God…well, I’m sure he’ll accept me for who I am.

I like driving. It’s relaxing. Well, it usually is until I get a spout of road-rage. The one thing that annoys me more than anything when I’m sat in my car, minding my own business, is when some suped-up, self-centred…genital-face decides to experiment how close he can get to my rear bumper without causing any damage. But by that point, I’m ready to cause some ruddy damage, alright.

I’m doing 30 in a 30 mph zone. Well, if we’re being honest here, then I guess I’m doing around 36 mph in a 30 zone. But STILL…someone will not find my speed satisfactory for them and will attempt to make me speed up. It won’t work! I will never succumb to you, a-hole!

And who are the offenders? You could put money on it being either:

a) a 17-year-old boy, who has just passed his test and his idiotic parents have bought him an over-powered car with a very noisy exhaust pipe and a boot-full of woofer, in a hurry to get to his crack dealer.
b) a private school-educated father-of-two from a nearby village, or ‘toff’, who thinks that he must drive a 4×4 ‘gas-guzzler’ because he lives near a field but only ever takes the urban route, on his way to pick up his kids from their toffy little school before the other parents get there. It’s kind of like a game, where the winner is awarded an ego and whiplash. Or…
c) The White-Van-Man. Always drives a van. Always a white one. And always a man. Always in a hurry to get to his next job so he can scam some poor 84-year-old widow out of £240,000 to replace a tap washer.

On one occasion, I was driving back from a late-night football session along a nearby main road. It was approximately 11.30pm, it was dark (obviously) and I was doing around 35 mph on the 30 mph road. All of a sudden, I watch in my rear-view mirror as a set of headlights seemingly appear from nowhere. The next thing I know, a 4×4 is inches away from the back of my car. I sped up a little to 40 mph, jsut to make sure they knew that I wasn’t some old lady who couldn’t drive. But they continued to push. “What are you playing at?!” I screamed into my mirror. Then, they have the audacity to flash their lights! I’m already doing 10 mph OVER the limit! Luckily, I was a short distance from my road and turned left just to see the nutjob speed past me.

On a more recent occasion, I was travelling home from work at 5.10pm, pulled into my road and drove at just under 30 mph. That to me is safe enough, considering it is not a very wide road, there are cars parked either side and if anyone came the opposite way, I’d have to pull in and give way to them. But this WHITE VAN MAN, that’s right, was going right up my ‘arris! I gave a big shake of my head, big enough for him to clock it and continued at my speed. Then, I swear, he got closer to my bumper. So close, I could not see the bonnet of his car in my mirror. As I pulled into my driveway, I stopped sharply and turned my head to glare at him and I see him GLARING AT ME! Like I had done something wrong!

So what I’m saying is, please, PLEASE, if you are late for something or are behind someone driving a bit slow for your style, use some common sense and show some respect. It just ain’t worth the risk of crashing your/somebody else’s car or taking your/somebody else’s life.

THINK. Don’t be a dick.

DJC

Anyone who knows me would understand that I am slightly addicted to Billy Talent. Not a day goes by that I don’t play at least one song of theirs or think about the next time I’m going to see them live. Whenever I wear my BT t-shirt to my favourite bar, I get a minimum of two new people approaching me just to inform me that they love their music. But, somewhat shockingly, a few people have never heard of them! I mean, sheesh!

So here it is. My quick guide to my favourite band.

Ben Kowalewicz (vocals)
Ben has got to be one of the best Rock vocalists in history. Sound a bit far-fetched? Maybe. But you listen to his voice on a track, whether he’s singing, shouting, screaming or whispering, and you’d most likely find him mesmorising. Live, he is even better. A great entertainer who really likes to put his all into conveying the lyrics. People say Michael Jackson (R.I.P.) was unique for actually portraying emotions in his singing and I feel that Ben K does the same. A genuinely nice guy too.

Ian D’sa
One of my favourite guitarists of all time. Some of the riffs he creates are mind-blowing. Not just by wondering how he comes up with them, but how he remembers them and manages to play them live, note-perfect. Listen to Devil In A Midnight Mass as a great example. Also well-known for his hairstyle – a tall quiff which takes about 45 minutes and shit-loads of hairspray. He also provides back-up vocals, which are quite noticable in their songs as a low-pitched mixture of singing and shouting.

Aaron Solowoniuk
There’s not much to say about Aaron, except that he is a fantastic drummer, both live and on-record, and backs up the catchy guitar riffs with a pounding percussion. A good example of his work is the intro to Red Flag. Amazing considering he is suffering with Multiple Sclerosis.

Jonathan Gallant
Bassist and backing vocalist. Another talented musician. As most bassists, you don’t really know what it is that he adds to the music, but I’m sure if you removed the bass lines, they just wouldn’t sound the same.

The band have released two albums to this date - Billy Talent and Billy Talent II (not including Watoosh!, which was released under the band’s original name, Pezz. They changed their name to Billy Talent following a threat of legal action and their music took a more punk-rock direction). Their third studio album is to be released on 13th July 2009 and is tentatively entitled……..Billy Talent III.
Billy Talent seemed quite aggressive compared to the mellower Billy Talent II. The former went 3x Platinum in Canada and the latter went 2x Platinum.

I would highly recommend listening to both albums if you have not heard of them. You’ll like either one of them, but hopefully both.

 Now, whenever you here a song by this fantabulous gang of men, please think of me. I look forward to the new album and seeing them headling the Lock-Up Stage at Reading Festival 2009.

 Peace out.

DJC

This Edward Cullen is a nobody. Why do I keep hearing women say how delicious he is? He’s a vampire. He’d eat you. He ain’t that special.

He’s pasty - I’m pasty. In places.

He’s got fangs – I’ve got big canines. Kind of.

He’s got nice eyes – I’ve got nice eyes. I think.

He’s a vampire – I’m not. I could be. If I wanted.

I can see it now. I could live in the dark. Only go out at night. Drink blood (or some sort of red vodka drink, that would be tastier). I could come to your house, baby, and sweep you off your feet. Yeah. ’Cause I’m that cool. I could take you to the woods. We could fly about. Scaring people. I could kiss you under the moonlight. Ah, who am I kidding.

I just don’t see the fad. What’s so bloody great about him??? If women could swoon over him, why can’t they swoon over me?

I’m human. I have a sense of humour (I’m sure vampires don’t). I like to have fun. I go out at night, although to drink alcohol, not blood. I just don’t get it.

Women can be crazy sometimes.

DJC

1) My footy team are still bottom of Division 4, BUT…we are into the semi-finals of the cup! We’re all hoping that we go through to the final, but the team we have to beat are a decent side.

2) I finished my script and my film. Here’s the TRAILER for the film if you’re interested – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDEqw9wIpWQ
The film turned out better than I expected, so I am very pleased with it.

3) I can’t wait to finish my course. I mean it. I have an essay on pornography due in for Friday (yeah, it’s interesting) and I just want to get it finished! Then my last piece of work is due in on the 8th May. That’s not long at all. I need to get a move on with that.

But what do I do afterwards? I’m planning on applying to the National Film and Television School in Buckinghamshire to do an MA in Screenwriting. But that starts in January. What do I do if I don’t do that?

I need to get a summer job and do as much writing as possible. If I do get into the NFTS, that will at least make it easy to become a writer in two years. But what if I don’t get into that?

I need to write as much as possible and try to sell myself. I already have an idea for a feature-length film, two basic short film ideas and a sitcom idea (which I will DEFINITELY be writing because it would be great to get comissioned – think Friends meets Frasier meets something English. Although I think it would have to be made in the US as that’s where it’s set, so I may show it to some American producers…)

That’s about all I have to say for now. 

Oh, you’re probably wondering about the title. Well…it just kinda popped into my head a moment ago when making up a song. It sounded nice.

Cobwebs in the Carpet

 No idea what it might mean. Somewhere (metaphorical) that hasn’t been visited for a while? I don’t know. What do you think?

DJC

We entered the changing room and sat on the bench. I did what I do before every match. I sat silently listening to the others cracking jokes, poking fun at each other, moaning about the latest Reading FC match. I like to get mentally prepared. I visualise us winning. I visualise myself scoring. But I hadn’t scored in 10 games, so I wasn’t that optimistic. I’m a good player. I know that. I’m quick, agile, I can dribble, I can pass and I can definitely score. I just…hadn’t. However, this was a better chance than any. Not only had I not scored, but we hadn’t won yet. We were bottom of Division 4 East, in the Reading & District Sunday League. Our single point, from a 2-2 draw a few weeks earlier, made us look worse than we were. But the team above us had won only one game – because their opponents forfeited. They’d also conceded about 4 times as many goals as us. This was our best chance for a win all season.

There was a bit of confusion as our pitch had been waterlogged and we weren’t told, but we managed to get the groundsman to put nets up after being satisfied with the turf. It was muddy, but playable. We looked at our opponents. My first thought was that we looked better. Our smart, clean, blue-and-white-hooped shirts looked more impressive than their faded orange and black strip. My second thought – they had less players. Nine, in fact. That’s when it struck me. There was no way we’d lose this match.

I was a substitute, which didn’t surprise me as I was goalless. And, for an attacker, that’s not good. I stood on the sideline, hoping for a decent start to the game. We kicked off. Straight away, we got the ball up the field. It came to nothing. The keeper took the goal kick. Well, I say he took it…he kind of ran up to the ball and lamely toe-punted it across the floor, much to the hilarity of our team. We kept the attack going. Within two minutes of the kick-off, we scored. I can’t remember how, so don’t ask. The match restarted, we got the ball again, we scored. And again. And again. Within 15 minutes, we were winning 5-0. By half time, we were winning 11-0.

The focus of the half-time team talk was not to concede. We wanted a clean sheet. I was told I’d be playing in the second half. But not right away.

The second half started. We scored again. And again. I came on when it was about 14-0. I went on the right wing, but couldn’t create much. The manager wanted me to get a goal, so he put me upfront. The left-winger gave me the ball. I turned. I’m a quick player, so I was confident I’d outrun the defender. And I did. I took a couple of touches, into the 18-yard box and side-footed it. My heart sank as I watched it head towards the ‘keeper. But luck was on my side. The ball crept underneath him and hit the back of the net.

I was ecstatic. I’d finally done it. I then played a sweet ball to the overlapping left-back, my manager, who scored his second by slotting it in at the near post.

The final score – 19-0

Fantastic. Not only had we moved up one place to 9th (second bottom), we’d drastically improved our goal difference – now standing at zero.

We go into the game this Sunday morning knowing that we are good enough to win. We won’t move up a place if we do, but the points will be vital.

And I can’t wait to get the chance to score my second of the season.

DJC

Sorry. I couldn’t work out how to rotate that photo. This blog is about SNOW!

You may have heard of it. we haven’t had proper snow here in Reading for about 6 years, apparently. I can’t remember. I look out my patio window now and I can see 2/3 inches. It’s crazy. And, as we’re not used to snow, it means that England is in meltdown. The roads are horrendous. No one can make it into work. Things are being cancelled. Bus services in London are cancelled. The subway in London is cancelled. My lectures are cancelled. Schools are closed. People are being told not to go into work by their bosses. There are car accidents and people sliding down roads in their cars. We’re not used to this.

But it is lovely, you have to admit. The falling snowflakes are mesmerising and the blanket of snow looks beautiful. The greenery seems to stand out even more. And it’s still snowing. We’re expecting another foot before the end of today.

I can’t take my eyes off the back garden. We shall see what happens.

I’m expecting polar bears and huskies to appear any minute.

DJC

“You’re never going to be able to do that.”

or

“Try aiming for something more realistic.”

Yeah. Okay. So I’ve just met you and told you that I want to be a writer. Do you really have that much knowledge about writing that you can instantly conclude that I’m never going to ‘make it’? When you work in an office for an insurance company for £25,000 a year.

It annoys me. And it leads me onto the best advice that I have for anyone who has an ambition, an aspiration or a dream. If it’s realistically possible, DO NOT LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT YOU CANNOT ACHIEVE IT.

I know I have the talent to be a writer. I know how to go about it. How to make the most of my opportunities. How to approach producers with my scripts. How it’s not easy. And best of all, how to not be jealous of people. I wouldn’t ever tell someone that they should give up their dream. Numerous people have told me that and I’ve learnt to expect it. Hell, that’s probably what all the best writers, directors, comedians, actors, presenters etc. were told.

Plus, it gives me the motivation to succeed. If I ever win a BAFTA, this will be the basis of my speech *ahem*:

“I’d just like to say something to my family and friends. The people who have supported me for the past few years. Thank you. Thank you so much. And to the people who did the opposite – the people who told me that I wouldn’t succeed, that I should get a ‘real job’. Thank you. Thank you for giving me the motivation to achieve my dreams. And f*ck you. I’ve got a BAFTA.”

DJC

1) NEVER SAY WHAT YOU SEE OR SEE WHAT YOU SAY
If the character says he’s going to go somewhere and do something, you don’t need to show him doing this. The audience has already used their imagination to portray it for you. Also, if you see the character doing something, you don’t need them explaining it or commenting on what they are doing. We do this in real life, but in a film, it’s not needed. It’s boring.

2) DANCING AROUND THE SUBJECT
In real life, we rarely ask direct questions. We beat around the bush. We hint at things. Good dialogue reflects this. The character’s shouldn’t just ask each other direct questions in order to reveal information to the audience. Make them hint at things.

3) SAY THE OPPOSITE
When we speak, we rarely admit to our feelings. If we are scared, we try to hide it by lying to ourselves or to other people. Try including this in your dialogue.

4) EXPLODE CLICHES
If you have ever heard a line like yours in another movie, get rid of it! Dialogue should always seem as if the character is creating it on the spot. Make it interesting. Make it original.

5) GO FOR THE DETAIL
On-The-Nose Dialogue is created when the character uses words to describe how they feel. Interesting dialogue comes from using a detail to illustrate emotions or intentions. For example, instead of “I miss my ex-husband”, use “the bed seems so cold now”. No matter what they say, using this kind of detail can change the dialogue from being stale to being personal.

6) CONFLICT IN DIALOGUE
Dialogue can seem a little ‘flat’ because the conversation doesn’t contain enough conflict. Spice it up a bit. In The Professionals, Burt Lancaster refers to someone else as “that magnificent bastard”. Maybe your character “hates loving” someone. These sorts of sentences are much more interesting and can lead to memorable quotes.

7) EXPOSE CHARACTER THROUGH DIALOGUE
Create different tones or viewpoints for your characters. What if your 5 characters each saw a certain event in a different way? What if they used conflicting tones? This can reveal a lot about the lives and personalities of your characters.

PERSONALISE SLANG AND SENTENCE STRUCTURE
We all speak in various ways. We have different accents. Different dialects. Some speak quickly, others slowly. This is another way of exposing the lives and personalities of your characters. Before writing your script, plan your characters’ lives. Where do they come from? What do they do? What is their dark secret? And how do they speak?

9) HOOK WORDS TO CONNECT DIALOGUE
This is a technique from the golden era that seems to have been forgotten. It is used by Ben Hecht. He uses words like hooks – they connect one line of dialogue to another, so that they speed by. For example:
“This investigator? They say he’s good.”
“Then he’s good as dead.”

10) WORD COUNT
Short lines mean fast-paced dialogue. Long lines mean more deliberately-paced dialogue. Be aware of the number of words in your dialogue. This can also reflect the character’s personality.

11) ANTI-DIALOGUE?
Whilst most dialogue is two characters responding to each other, SOME dialogue isn’t dialogue at all, but intersecting monologues. Like two characters sat at a table. It could seem like they’re having a conversation, when really they’re both in their own worlds. This is used in Of Mice And Men and Psycho.

12) WEIRD WORLD VIEW
Another tip for good dialogue is to give your character an interesting way of looking at things. Billy Bob Thornton’s character in A Simple Plan sees the world in the way a child does. He notices crows sitting on a branch and remarks “What a weird job – sitting around and waiting for something to die so that you can eat it.” It’s an interesting characteristic that leaves you wanting to hear what he says next.

13) CONTRAST BETWEEN CHARACTERS
Make a list of character traits for each of your characters and make sure they are opposite to the character they will spend most time with. This will lead to humorous banter when they are thrown together.

14) CONTRAST IN LOCATIONS
When coming up with your script idea, you can build humour by looking for contrast between your characters, characters and locations and chracters and situations. A good example of this is Beverly Hills Cop. Axel Foley is a street smart cop from Detroit who is thrown into solving a case in the polite and wealthy Beverly Hills.

15) THESE THREE
All dialogue should do three things at once: Illuminate character, move the story forward and be entertaining. The last one is the most difficult. You have to study every line and try to find an amusing or interesting way to say it. Usually the first line is the most dull and boring, so you have to ‘mine’ it – dig until you can come up with a clever or witty way to say it.
Every movie line should be one of those lines that you come up with the day after an argument. They should be a “I wish I’d thought of that!” line. Push yourself to try to make every line as great as possible.

It all takes work. Writing isn’t easy. If it was, everyone would be doing it.

IMPORTANT TIP: Use dialogue only as a last resort, when actions won’t tell the story. Film is character in action.

www.moviescopemag.com

Between the 9th – 23rd February, I need to film ‘Swings & Roundabouts’.

Between the 23rd – 9th March, I need to edit it and hand it in.

By 30th, It needs to be evaluated and on the internet.

And I still haven’t got my actors auditioned or the locations sorted. It’s going to be a rushed/stressed job, but I’m determined to make the best short film I’ve made. So far.

Do I Amuse You?

On Tuesday evening (27th), I will be attending a comedy workshop. I’ve always had an interest in comedy and I’ve written and acted in a sketch show and a sitcom, the latter being the funniest (in my opinion). Now, without trying to sound like I have big ego, I’ve always liked the idea of being a stand-up comic. This workshop, over 3 weeks, will hopefully develop my public-speaking and joke-telling skills.

I find it relatively easy to crack jokes in front of my friends. Doing it in front of strangers is a different story. Unless I’m drunk. Which is very often.

However, I have taken part in a ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway?’ re-creation at my university’s comedy society. That was fun. I was nervous at first, but once I got into the swing of it, I was fine.

Gotta finish this quick, my sister wants to check Facebook *rolls eyes*…

DJC