Every day, I get this.
I like driving. It’s relaxing. Well, it usually is until I get a spout of road-rage. The one thing that annoys me more than anything when I’m sat in my car, minding my own business, is when some suped-up, self-centred…genital-face decides to experiment how close he can get to my rear bumper without causing any damage. But by that point, I’m ready to cause some ruddy damage, alright.
I’m doing 30 in a 30 mph zone. Well, if we’re being honest here, then I guess I’m doing around 36 mph in a 30 zone. But STILL…someone will not find my speed satisfactory for them and will attempt to make me speed up. It won’t work! I will never succumb to you, a-hole!
And who are the offenders? You could put money on it being either:
a) a 17-year-old boy, who has just passed his test and his idiotic parents have bought him an over-powered car with a very noisy exhaust pipe and a boot-full of woofer, in a hurry to get to his crack dealer.
b) a private school-educated father-of-two from a nearby village, or ‘toff’, who thinks that he must drive a 4×4 ‘gas-guzzler’ because he lives near a field but only ever takes the urban route, on his way to pick up his kids from their toffy little school before the other parents get there. It’s kind of like a game, where the winner is awarded an ego and whiplash. Or…
c) The White-Van-Man. Always drives a van. Always a white one. And always a man. Always in a hurry to get to his next job so he can scam some poor 84-year-old widow out of £240,000 to replace a tap washer.
On one occasion, I was driving back from a late-night football session along a nearby main road. It was approximately 11.30pm, it was dark (obviously) and I was doing around 35 mph on the 30 mph road. All of a sudden, I watch in my rear-view mirror as a set of headlights seemingly appear from nowhere. The next thing I know, a 4×4 is inches away from the back of my car. I sped up a little to 40 mph, jsut to make sure they knew that I wasn’t some old lady who couldn’t drive. But they continued to push. “What are you playing at?!” I screamed into my mirror. Then, they have the audacity to flash their lights! I’m already doing 10 mph OVER the limit! Luckily, I was a short distance from my road and turned left just to see the nutjob speed past me.
On a more recent occasion, I was travelling home from work at 5.10pm, pulled into my road and drove at just under 30 mph. That to me is safe enough, considering it is not a very wide road, there are cars parked either side and if anyone came the opposite way, I’d have to pull in and give way to them. But this WHITE VAN MAN, that’s right, was going right up my ‘arris! I gave a big shake of my head, big enough for him to clock it and continued at my speed. Then, I swear, he got closer to my bumper. So close, I could not see the bonnet of his car in my mirror. As I pulled into my driveway, I stopped sharply and turned my head to glare at him and I see him GLARING AT ME! Like I had done something wrong!
So what I’m saying is, please, PLEASE, if you are late for something or are behind someone driving a bit slow for your style, use some common sense and show some respect. It just ain’t worth the risk of crashing your/somebody else’s car or taking your/somebody else’s life.
THINK. Don’t be a dick.
DJC
