I could.
This Edward Cullen is a nobody. Why do I keep hearing women say how delicious he is? He’s a vampire. He’d eat you. He ain’t that special.
He’s pasty - I’m pasty. In places.
He’s got fangs – I’ve got big canines. Kind of.
He’s got nice eyes – I’ve got nice eyes. I think.
He’s a vampire – I’m not. I could be. If I wanted.
I can see it now. I could live in the dark. Only go out at night. Drink blood (or some sort of red vodka drink, that would be tastier). I could come to your house, baby, and sweep you off your feet. Yeah. ’Cause I’m that cool. I could take you to the woods. We could fly about. Scaring people. I could kiss you under the moonlight. Ah, who am I kidding.
I just don’t see the fad. What’s so bloody great about him??? If women could swoon over him, why can’t they swoon over me?
I’m human. I have a sense of humour (I’m sure vampires don’t). I like to have fun. I go out at night, although to drink alcohol, not blood. I just don’t get it.
Women can be crazy sometimes.
DJC
